So the images didn't quite make it through the copy and paste process. Some of the formatting took a hit as well. Please, read, enjoy and don't judge me. I'm still learning. 😅
TMDE
Times
COVID
EDITION, APRIL 2021
In all seriousness.... This is an
example of a spoof newsletter my counterpart and I came up with for internal
distribution with our colleagues. I thought it would be fun to play around with
it here.
ATS Shelters in
Place; Pretends to Telework
VARIOUS, VA – After the President’s
declaration that COVID-19 “Coronavirus” is a national nuisance, MCSC and LogCom
entities took the opportunity to go home.
“It’s our patriotic duty”, said Jennifer England, senior Logistician,
whose reputation of shirking work, going home early, and generally doing as
little as possible is well known.
Telework agreements were passed out, and all
teams are now required to turn on their computers, answer emails, and
participate in several teleconferences each day, all from home. “But”, said Brian Nimmick, Equipment
Specialist, while tapping his head knowingly, “They didn’t say we had to wear
pants."
Terry Ritchie, ATS Team Lead, during an interview with The Times said confidentially, “It’s like managing a herd of freaking cats. All they have to do it pretend to work, and l pretend I don’t know they’re not working, but Jesus Christ, I have to call every single morning and remind them to log in, and they keep saying that the network is down or some crap, plus every single teleconference Brian Nimmick declares that he’s not wearing pants!”. “What the F did I get myself into?” Mr Ritchie muttered to himself. “And don’t print that last part.”
Fleet Support Develops GPATS TM
STAFFORD VA –
After winning the Technical Manual contract to develop an operator’s and
maintenance manual for the General Purpose Automated Tester (GPATS), Picatinny
Arsenal immediately tasked ATS to provide all content, properly formatted, and
with all technical drawings and pictures to be sent to them forthwith.
In a closed-door teleconference with the Project
Officers, Terry Ritchie, ATS Team Lead, suggested using those three a$$holes
from Fleet Support to produce the document. “Those jerks are always getting me
in trouble with illegal programming, selective interchange, and basically
complaining about everything in the program. Let them do it.”
Faced with an uphill battle of writing a TM on an item
they’ve never seen before, FST took only a single week to produce a document
filled with crayon renderings of the CIC and troubleshooting and repair steps
that included “keep the CIC cool by pouring water on it occasionally.” When
asked about whether he regretted his decision to give FST so much responsibility,
Mr. Ritchie said, “What do you think? Those idiots even managed to misspell TM!
How is it we haven’t fired them all yet?”.
Blogs I
commented on:
https://csit155-sp21-jbarnett.blogspot.com/
https://csit155-sp21amccarthy.blogspot.com/2021/04/week-10-part-researching-email-marketing.html
No comments:
Post a Comment